So I had the displeasure of having to deal with this… person this evening, whom I greatly disliked SO MUCH that it motivated me to draw a small comic.
Enjoy. Those with penises: take heed.
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To Guys: Scummy & Nice
(A Comic)
Thanks for your time.
My night was filled with friends (always helpful and awesome), jokes (oftentimes inappropriate), work (bond-ful etc.), laughter (such hilarity!), photographs (more hilarity!) and cheesecake (deliciousness).
How was your evening?
Shortest post ever!
Filed under: Uncategorized
This week hasn’t been particularly kind to me. I haven’t been thinking the most positive of thoughts (sigh, and after such a motivating post too!) and I’ve been stressed like you wouldn’t believe. It’s difficult living at a commuter school; you really get to spend a lot of “you” time, simply because all of your friends disappear for the day after class. I will remedy this, somehow – I need to treat myself to a movie. Shaun of the Dead is sitting on my dresser now, but so is the complete set of Azu Manga Daioh!… decisions, decisions.
… So, yeah, holy crap, Twitter is a lot cleaner! (What a segue.) I really like the new look a bit. It’s certainly a lot more fresh and “airy.” Speaking of Twitter, I’ve noticed a lot of Batman RPers have been following me. It’s amusing to get updates from The Joker, The Riddler, Rachel Dawes, Harvey Dent, etc. I love how well these people stay in character.
I used to RP when I was younger (the most I can remember right now was when I played Harley Quinn from Batman within a probably now-dead forum) and I also wrote a lot of fanfiction (ahhh, the ‘f’-word!) for animated programs and some live-action stuff (notably Beat the Geeks, my, was I so mature). I’m so glad I grew out of that.
My room is kinda-sorta in shambles. Classes today were all right. I didn’t attend my first one because I was sick. I swear I was going to throw up if I moved out of bed. Luckily, that cleared up after about an hour of sleep. I’m back here in my room, with just my little bendy psuedo-Pixar lamp on now, feeling insomnia take hold.
I’ve been having trouble sleeping so I’ve been taking Tylenol PM this week. It’s really helped.
I think I need to learn to step back and relax. You’d think a girl who’s almost a senior in college would already know how to do that.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I haven’t blogged in a while and Erci/Eric told me to write about something positive.
Looking at my last two entries, I know I’ve seen better days.
So, okay, I will write something positive – holy fuck, I can’t wait for the weekend! This week has been tremendously difficult for me, so I’m pretty close to kicking back, relaxing and having a good time tomorrow (well, today) and Sunday. Yes, there’s much work to be done (reading, to be precise) but I deserve so much awesomeness right now. I am not joking.
It was nice to see my mother again today, even though I ended up sobbing into her arms for about half an hour. It’s good to de-stress. I’m feeling so much better, and I’m looking forward to what’s ahead.
A lot of opportunities have come up for me, one being this.
Seems pretty interesting and awesome. I’d probably go for the Institute of Political Journalism, as it’s the only media-related thing available. Speaking of internships, I’m thinking about trying out to intern for The Sun-Sentinel next summer. For sure I’d have to get a car, but wow, working on a local South Florida paper would be awesome. It’s a shame I don’t read it (wah, Dade/Herald family, wah) but I know it would be a fantastic experience. Shame about the whole “holy shit newspapers might disappear” fear going around, too.
Let’s see… ah, yes! Has anyone seen THESE?
Oh, dear, there’s drool on my keyboard…
I’m ridiculously tempted to buy the purple one, but the iPod classic models are the MUCH better buy. Uh, can someone say 80 GB of space? Seriously, all the money is going for is
- The color
- The size/shape
… and okay, FINE, the shake to shuffle shit that makes it pretty damn cool.
Did a lot of drawing on the tablet this week, but nothing blog-post-worthy.
Talk of a bonfire this evening at the beach, but God knows if it’ll really happen. I WILL do something fun tonight, though, because a) I want to see my friends and b) time is of the essence! Tally-ho!
Wait, tally-ho? Who says that anymore?
Highlights of my day:
- A co-worker singing THIS in the office.
- Other theme songs from my favorite animated programs.
- Friends.
- Friends.
- Friends.
I’m positive.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Have you ever been through so painful that it hurt to breathe?
That’s how I’m feeling right now.
I want to wake up now.
I thought I could only dream of being so stupid, but I was very, very wrong.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I AM AWESOME,
DAMN IT.
But why is it so hard to think so? Why do I make this big production in my head to believe it?
Why can’t I just accept it?
Filed under: life
I’m looking at my clock and thanking God it’s Thursday. Seriously – the week is almost over and I’m so close to going back (somewheres) and trying to get work done.
I made wantons today – well, pot stickers, to be more specific – and they were tasty. They were a bit of a pain to make but worth it in the end. Now I got to clean my pan they… stuck to. Which is okay! It’s soaking in the dishwasher now.
It’s only the second week of classes and I’m already overwhelmed with assignments. I’m afraid I’m dedicating too much time to other endeavors and emotions instead of focusing on my work. I know I deserve time for myself – to relax, to unwind – but when homework calls, it calls. In fact, I’d be sure to say it pretty much screams for attention.
So why bother addressing how I’m feeling during the day? Instead, I save it for extremely late nights and vague as hell blog entries. I know I should focus more on ME; this dorming experience should help me do so. But instead I find myself trying to bury how I feel with books, verses, articles and writing. Whatever gets me to not think about the darker side of things, the sad side of things, the pathetic side of things.
I’m not dark (at least I don’t think so), but I’m certainly a bit sad and slightly pathetic.
My friend insists otherwise in regards to the latter quality, but it’s hard to uplift individual spirits on your own when all you have are past experiences and past opinions; I’ve never been affirmed, never really been praised in a way I needed to be. Sure, I got those slips of paper for honor roll, bright report cards, cheap ribbons from the teacher store – but no one’s really told me what I really needed to hear.
Which was… “you’re all right, Iris.”
But there’s my weakness: I’m dependent on people telling me who I am, what I am, what I can be. I need someone to tell me I’m good, I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m cute – but I’ll never believe them. Ever. Especially when it comes to my looks.
I always joke about my weight and people get so “OMGSHUTUP” when I do so, even though I’m only telling the truth. It IS the truth. I’ll plainly say, “Jesus, I’m so FAT” and then the world will come down and everyone gets defensive.
I remember a friend of mine saying, “You’re NOT FAT, IRIS! What are you, a size 12?”
I wanted to yell “fuck you” right in her face because I was so appalled to see how skewed her perception was. Anyone who looks at me can tell I am not a size 12. Fuck, I’d kill puppies to be a size 12. (Okay, maybe not, but… grr.)
I’m only insulted when people suggest I’m thinner than I am. Any compliment, really – I only think they’re humoring me, pitying me, making fun of me. “She really believes we think that! Yay, we made her feel better!”
Paranoia at its best. I need help, I know.
Goes with this puppetry mindset I’ve had as a kid – that everything is a dream, everything is manufactured by one large entity as an elaborate joke of life. Everything around me – my relationships – are all fake. Phony.
I don’t mean to belittle or disrespect my friends, I do love them all dearly; it’s all a result of how deluded I am and how I need to understand that I am a good and decent person on my own, and I need no one to tell me that or otherwise.
So much to work on, right? Maybe I should go back to therapy.
I know I can rise above myself and my negative thoughts about, but it seems the more I’m alone the more I find myself (fuck, so redundant-sounding) wondering why people even bother to care.
Trust me, it was a lot worse before. I don’t know how I managed to get to this point.
Positivity, positivity, positivity.
I’m good. I’m very good. I’m good.
I love you, Iris, I do.
It’s just very hard to say that.
I’m still up for God knows why – I have a class at 10 a.m. soon and here I am, still awake. I’ll be up early too, so that I can look over material before class – so I suppose I should be getting some sleep. Today was my longer day of classes (three, starting at 9:30 a.m.) and it ended with a long trip to Publix. Note to self: don’t shop at Publix without eating something. You should know this.
There’s a candy dish on my table full of Reese’s Pieces. They look shiny and delicious.
I went on a random video escapade with my friend on campus. We’re laughing and singing and striking cheesy MySpacey shots. So hilarious. These moments are what make life worth living, I know it. I need to have more of them.
There’s a bag of sushi rice on my table; the only thing in English on the bag is “Sushi Rice” – as if my friend snuck it through customs.
I miss Italy and New York City. I’d kill for the air, the lights, the people.
Don LaFountaine died.
This week is going to be long, I can tell – I’m still reeling from some rough events and I don’t know where I’m going. It’s as if there’s no steering wheel attached to my non-existent car. My classes are fine, I just know they’re going to be extremely tedious at some point – I’m afraid I’m not being tedious enough.
The school newspaper is my life, but do I love journalism enough to pursue it as a career, despite the trouble it’s facing?
I look up and realize my dorm has a popcorn ceiling, at least in the common area. My friend what right – I pretty much claimed this area for myself.
I forgot how much I loved bologna.
I will somehow make a cohesive post next time, with pictures or without.
… hmm. How many hugs do I need to get before I start feeling better?
Filed under: Uncategorized
I had several dates with Alka-Seltzer and Tums today. Never again will I eat Chinese food, at least for a good while.
Someone dear to me is making a familiar leap soon – or at least I hope he will. A part of me isn’t hurt, it’s… melancholy’s an okay way to put it. But I know it’s for the best. I will smile (and maybe tease). I know this has to happen.
But what about me?
A part of me can’t wait to get back to class. So much to cover, so little time.
No drawing for today. Too tired.
PS: My uncle is in New Orleans right now. He works for FEMA. Please pray/hope he stays very, very safe as Hurricane Gustav nears.
