Iris Amelia: Thoughts, et cetra


Short/Sweet
July 31, 2008, 4:37 pm
Filed under: life

Know what I hate?

Mixed signals.

How about you? What do you hate?

I also hate doing the dishes.



Wrenches.
July 29, 2008, 5:12 am
Filed under: life, self | Tags: ,

I have to remember that

- Things don’t always go according to plan.
- Some people don’t and can never change.
- Sometimes what’s best is out of my control, against my desires.
-
Sometimes what’s out of reach is supposed to stay out of reach.

I’ve been wrestling with a couple of emotions, too personal to get into here, publicly. These emotions have gotten me thinking about myself, what I need and want, and how to achieve my goals.

I hung out with a few friends today before work. We went out for lunch – hot dogs. I never liked hot dogs.

These were good hot dogs though. I only had one single dog out of fear that my body mass would instantly increase and subsequently scare my three male friends. Did help myself to cheese fries… everything was nice, if not hot.

I’m really trying to savor enjoying general company now with my friends from college before it’s time to depart. I have a fear that college will be just like high school – dandy for four years, and then everyone breaks away. I know that leaving my job – the wonderful school newspaper – is going to be extremely difficult. A lot of bonding has happened in that office, despite the hassles that goes on. I’m going to miss everyone I’ve worked with after I leave.

I still have a while to go, though. I’m just brooding, like Bruce Wayne.

In order news, I found a stuffed animal in a parking lot. I took it home, even though I wanted to leave it in my friend’s car. It’s a white puppy with a pink nose and fluffy fur.

Song of the moment: The Perfect Drug – Nine Inch Nails

I got my head, but my head is unraveling
Can’t keep control, can’t keep track of where it’s traveling
I got my heart but my heart is no good
And you’re the only one that’s understood
I come along but I don’t know where you’re taking me
I shouldn’t go but you’re reaching back and shaking me
Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you, the more I die

Sigh, I promised I wouldn’t let this blog become too personal. Snap.



Good migrations & more TDK flailing
July 27, 2008, 11:21 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

So I decided to move from Blogger to WordPress, just for kicks. It seems a little more mature over here (regarding the interface – I don’t make sense, no), so hopefully the new change will motivate me to update my blog more.

I have expressed an extreme amount of narcissism through my header. Ainnit cute? I’m starting to realize how kickass Photoshop is. Really, it’s such a powerful tool.

I like WordPress so far. The word count thing as I type is really neat and I appreciate the auto-saving of my drafts. Also, the password protection option is really cool.

My dear friend Susana uses WordPress, I think. I want to try and get the hang of it so that I can use Comicpress when I finally start a webcomic.

All right. What shall I talk about now?

How about…

The Joker (x 2)

The Joker (x 2)

All right, all right, I know – this is totally old meme news. But for some reason I still haven’t been able to get over how awesome this movie was. Please excuse the fangirlishness right now; it’s been a while since I’ve been giddy over a film. Consider it a sign of weakness.

I’ve already written about why the late Heath Ledger deserves an Oscar for the creepy-as-heck role. I honestly don’t know what to say about The Dark Knight anymore because I have a feeling I’ll only sound like a babbling moron. But there’s something about this film that just grabbed me (and now it won’t let go). It can’t completely fall upon the fact that the Joker appears in drag in The Dark Knight

Sigh. I wish Heath Ledger wasnt dead right now.

Sigh. I wish Heath Ledger wasn't dead right now.

Okay, let me think of something else to write that’s much more heartfelt. I’ll get back to you.



Burning out
July 2, 2008, 5:00 pm
Filed under: carrying the world, energy, work

We, as human beings, are naturally greedy. We ache for the shiny, the expensive, the out-of-reach — we ache for more than what we need.

I am greedy. For one reason or another, I take on much more work than I should in order to take in a wonderful reward in the end, whether it be money or experience.

But I love to work. I enjoy being picky and demanding more, I enjoy challenging myself and putting myself on the edge. But I don’t remember that when it’s 10 minutes to deadline and I haven’t read an article that’s running on the front page.

I enjoy what I do. I am a copy editor for my college paper, and even though the work can be stressful, even though the material I read can be under par (for my tastes, anyway), and even though I know I don’t get paid enough to do what I do (who does?) – I love my work. I love going to my AP Stylebook, my Bible, and looking up terms that need to be capitalized and revising stories written in the passive voice.

It scares me to know I let someone down. I feel like I’ve been doing that lately at my job. I feel I have been under par. I’m trying to tell myself that I cannot be perfect – I am NOT perfect, I will never BE perfect – but it’s so difficult to realize this. I want to carry the world onto my shoulders and tell everyone that it’ll be fine, that I’ll take care of it, but I know (I should know) that I can’t do that.

The upcoming year, right around the corner (next month) – I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m afraid I’ve bitten off much more than I can chew, but it’s all things I want to do. I want to continue at the paper and stay involved with minor politics at my university. I want to start a writing club with a friend. I want to become involved with a new Mac users group too. I have to increase my workload because I entered the Honors College. I want too much. I do too much.

Am I trying to compensate for something else that I don’t have in order to feel accomplished by taking on so much?

Am I following footsteps of my parents – one obviously overworked, the Messiah of the world, the other obsessive and unable to focus on one particular thing?

And don’t get me started on graduate school. Please. That’ll be the next post.